About Elly is a Persian movie, which is winner of silver bear from Berlin's film festival for the best director. winner of the best movie in Trebika film festival, winner of best movie, best director, best voice and candidate to received ten golden bird from 27th of fajr movie festival.
Narrative of few families traveling to north of Iran for three days holiday, the reason of this trip is the old friend came back from Germany to Iran for a while. In this trip Sepideh invited (Elli) who is her daughter"s kindergartner teacher to meet the Ahmad, but suddenly in the second day Elly disappears and all the happiness become dark..
Sepideh, Amir, Morvarid (4years old)
Shohreh, Peyman (Arash 5years, Arezou 3years)
Nazi, Manouchehr
Ahmad
Elly and Ali
After arriving to Ramsar (north of Iran), they went to the water front motel has been reserved for them. Night passed with playing pantomime, and snacks.
In the morning after eating breakfast, Sepideh and Shohre left home for shopping. Elly, Nazi and men stayed at home. Elly was playing kite with Arash, after few minutes, Morvarid was calling, come come, arash Arash
drowning drowning...
Ali came to Ramsar because he found it out Elly was there to meet Ahmad.
after few hours police called them to go to hospital to identify the body. Elly being drowned, and divers found her body under the sea.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrYhdbrr_A0
If I was in writer place I would writ...( About Elly)
Three families planed to go to North of Iran (Ramsar) for their holiday and for their single friend Ahmad, who came from Germany to Iran for a while. Sepideh asked her friend to go with them. On the way they stopped beside the river to have a break and lunch, Ahmad was looking at Elly sometimes and think she seems beautiful and an attractive girl. Elly wasn't noticed about Ahmad, she didn't know him, she only knows Ahmad doesn't live in Iran and this trip is because of him to visit the city. Elly had someone in her life but she didn't tell Sepideh. Elly was a deep person, she doesn't talk much.
everybody were asking about life style in Germany. Sepideh walked to the car to bring something, Elly walked after her. do you like him? Sepideh said.
who? what?? Elly said.
Sepideh: Ahmad
Oh I wasn't notice of him, Elly said to Sepideh.
Elly: Is he single??
Yes he is, I'm looking for someone for him, Sepideh said with naughty smile.
Elly walked away to river side, she needed some space. she didn't know what to do. It was for long time that she had plan to go to Europe but she couldn't get visa for some reason. Now there is some people to take her there. she was busy thinking, Sepideh called her for lunch.They got in the car to go to water front motel which they booked.
Ahmad and Elly moved to Sepideh and Amir's car, children got in Nazi's car.
They reached the villa, everybody had something to carry, Elly was busy with her phone. seems like there is something wrong. has mobile reception here? Elly asked.
hmmmm I don't think so honey, Sepideh said.
They got into the villa, everyone got their room, to change their cloths and fresh up. Elly went out side, Ahmad followed her. Do you wanna be alone? Ahmad said.
''No no it's OK''. Elly said.
They walked to beach, Ahmad light the cigarette. can I have one? Elly said.
Ahmad: ''sure''
Ahmad: ''are you single''?
Elly: ''naughty smiled. Yes I am.''
Ahmad: ''me too''
They both were looking to the sea. Elly was looking deep far, seems like she is not there, she stopped puffing her cigarette, but Ahmad regularly puffs, he was begins conversation with her.
Ahmad: ''I'm so sick of living in Germany alone, I want to make my life actually, with a girl. at the first sight I liked you, If you feel the same, we can keep in touch''.
Elly: ''och.. my finger''.
Ahmad got closer to her, what happened?
''cigarette, Elly said''.
Elly: ''it's OK''.
Ahmad: ''did you hear me''?
Elly: ''yes we can get to know each other''.
Ahmad smiled.
Ahmad: ''shall we go in''?
Elly: ''oh no, I stay''.
Children got out to play, people were playing cards inside. Elly was sitting on the rock and thinking far.
suddenly she look into water, It was Arash, he was drowning. Elly jumped into the water, she also didn't know how to swim, she was shocked, she couldn't call anybody. she was trying to get Arash.
Arezou was calling mom mom
everybody came out, she pointed at sea. Amir and Ahmad swim, shohre and Sepideh were screaming and crying Arash Arash. After few minutes Arash was on Amir's arms and Ahmad carried Elly.
the real love began, Ahmad was deeply in love and also worried is she alive or not.
They put both on sands, they both cough, all of them were happy, Sepideh hugged Elly and Arash. Shohre was holding her son and cry. it was breath taking moment.
It was dark. knock knock.
It was dark. knock knock.
They look at each other. Manouchehr opened the door. Elly was sitting next to Ahmad. Ali walked in. He heard that Elly was with them for Ahmad. He attacked Ahmad. ''Elly screamed, stop it, silly''.
All looked at Elly. ''I don't want you, I never was, Elly said. Now leave me, leave''.
Ali was shamed. He left.
In a 7th day Ahmad purposed Elly. He hadn't much time, he had to go back to Germany.
One month later, Elly and Ahmad were living happy in Germany.
Hi Bita, I was intrigued with your storyline as I have little knowledge of Persian movies. The brief summary you gave in the beginning helped to identify who key people were and the roles they played. There are a few errors that make the story a little hard to read; for example the spelling, the absence of speech marks,and spelling half of a word.
ReplyDeleteI was a little lost though when reading the final line "yes the body was Elly, she went to save Arash but she drowned." Was that the synopsis for the movie or the actual story you wrote?
There is a link beside the image under that line, "If I was in writer place I would write.." Is the paragraph under that image your intended fanfic? If so, there needs to be a clear indicator. Maybe that is where you could insert the title for you fanfic? Or perhaps you could delete the summary, as it does little but confuse the reader into thinking there is a time jump or alternate ending.
Perhaps you could be a little more descriptive with the character Ahmad as he will be the intended husband. If felt slightly rushed?
I think if you iron out a few things your story would make a good read and I certainly liked the ending where Elly lives and was able to live happily.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi belida
ReplyDeletethank you for reading my story, At the first I explained real story as it is foreign, then I made my story when I written if I was in a writer place, anyways I'll fix it hope you read it again :)
Hi Bita :D, I thought so, but I just wanted to make sure I was on the right track. I see you posted the link of the movie on YouTube. Do you know of another website where it has English subtitles? I watch a lot of Asian movies and dramas, but I would really like to see this one. You have a few hours yet to refine your work, I think the cut off time to complete your story is before midnight tonight. Good luck :D
ReplyDeleteyes hun i did fix it, I think its clear now.
ReplyDeleteyes I put this part in youtube for group to watch it. no dear its only Persian, Italian and German. I can bring you original movie, if your dvd has subtitle, you can watch it.
Hey that is so much better, and easier to read :D. You and distinctly see the narrative is seperate to the dialogue. Only a few minor things but so much better :D. Unfortunately we watch all our movies through the PS3 so i'm not sure if it has subtitle function. Job nicely done Bita!
ReplyDeleteThank you Belinda.
ReplyDeleteThat is good, thank you for you care.
and check out and let me know if you want the movie ;)
Hi there Bita, just read your story I found it quite a nice read, I enjoyed it through till the very end. Although there were minor grammatical errors. Also like Belinda I have not watched the movie but would like to. Still it was a well thought out story and there was a pretty good plot , also I loved how the pictures were arranged it helped to provide for a visual for the story. It was good that Elly finally managed to find some one whom she could get married to and live happily ever after.
ReplyDeleteHi Farish,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your reading dear, Ill try to find the movie with English subtitle so so guys can enjoy it :)
yes I tried to end the story with happiness :D
hi Bita, i have never seen a persian movie or read a book so i thought it was an interesting reading for me. :)
ReplyDeleteHey there Bita,
ReplyDeleteLike the others here i have not watched the movie but thanks to your Fanfic I plan on hiring it out! :) I'm happy about the ending cos she seemed lonely herself and it was nice to know that she got to be happy!